What is the best advice we can offer to our children?

St. Jerome says, “Be subject to your parents, imitating the example of your spouse.”¹⁸⁰⁸ Origen says, “Children, we should learn to be subject to our parents … Jesus understood that Joseph was greater than he in age, and therefore he gave him the honor due a parent. He gave an example to every son. Sons should be subject to their fathers; and, if they have no fathers, they should be subject to those who serve as fathers … If Jesus, the Son of God, is subject to Joseph and Mary, shall I not be subject to the bishop? God appointed him a father to me. Shall I not be subject to the presbyter whom the Lord’s choice set over me?”¹⁸⁰⁹

In a letter by St. Jerome to a mother and her daughter who had a dispute, he said, “The Lord Jesus was subject to His parents. He reverenced that mother of whom He was Himself

1804 St. John Chrysostom, “Vainglory and The Right Way for Parents to Bring Up Their Children,” trans. Max L. W. Laistner, in Christianity and Pagan Culture in the Later Roman Empire (Cornell University Press, 1951): ch. 77.

1805 Orthodox Christian Information Centre. Admonitions for Parents: Lessons by Our Holy Father John Chrysostomos on Raising Children , 13.

1806 Orthodox Christian Information Centre. Admonitions for Parents: Lessons by Our Holy Father John Chrysostomos on Raising Children , 12.

1807 Orthodox Christian Information Centre. Admonitions for Parents: Lessons by Our Holy Father John Chrysostomos on Raising Children , 36.

1808 St. Jerome, Letters 22.17 To Eustochium (NPNF II/6:28) amended.

1809 Origen, Homilies on Luke 20.5 (FOTC 94:86).

the parent; He respected the foster-father whom He had Himself fostered … Well, I shall say no more to the mother, for perhaps age, weakness, and loneliness make sufficient excuses for her; but to you the daughter I say: is a mother's house too small for you whose womb was not too small?”¹⁸¹⁰

He also wrote to Laeta , guiding her on how to bring up her daughter: “You must yourself be her teacher, a model on which she may form her childish conduct. Never either in you nor in her father let her see what she cannot imitate without sin … your example will teach her more than your precepts.”¹⁸¹¹

He again says, “Scripture, you will argue, bids us obey our parents (Eph. 6:1). Yes, but whoso loves them more than Christ loses his own soul (Matt. 10:37).”¹⁸¹²

St. Augustine says, “But you will say, I am afraid lest I offend those above me. By all means be afraid of offending them, and so you will not offend God. For you who are afraid lest you offend those above you, see whether there be not One above him whom you are afraid of offending … Run now over the list of those who are above you. First are your father and mother, if they are educating you properly; if they are bringing you up for Christ; they are to be heard in all things, they must be obeyed in every command; let them enjoin nothing against one above themselves, and so let them be obeyed.”¹⁸¹³

He also says, “For indeed the father ought not to be angry, when God is preferred before him. But when a father commands that which is not contrary to God; he must be heard as God is: because God has enjoined us to obey one’s father.”¹⁸¹⁴

Note:

If this is the Church’s view of marriage, what is her view of monasticism? We will address this after we finish talking about the sacraments of the Church.

1810 St. Jerome, Letters 117.2 To a Mother and Daughter Living in Gaul (NPNF II/6:216).

1811 St. Jerome, Letters 107:9 To Laeta (NPNF II/6:193) amended.

1812 St. Jerome, Letters 14.3 To Heliodorus the Monk (NPNF II/6:14).

1813 St. Augustine of Hippo, Sermons on Selected Lessons of the New Testament 12.8 (NPNF I/6:300) amended.

1814 St. Augustine of Hippo, Expositions on the Book of Psalms 71.2 (NPNF I/8:315) amended.