What does a believer feel when performing metanoias?

Feelings vary according to one’s motive behind the metanoias, but a feeling that is common to all metanoias is that of being in the divine presence: whether one offers them as a kind of worship like the heavenly hosts; or for repentance and confession of sins, truly yearning to return to God to enjoy His divine embrace; or as a sort of mutual love exchanged by the faithful in the spirit of humility; or in order to diffuse the spirit of anger in a brother or sister; or as a way of expressing gratitude for the good deed of a brother or a sister; or as a way to apologize and beg the forgiveness for one’s errors, whether from a person or from God; and so on. In all cases, what should occupy our minds is the divine presence and beseeching God’s acceptance and blessing.

318 A Monk of the Baramous Monastery (H. G. Bishop Macarius), An Introduction to Metanoias in Spiritual Direction (Arabic), fourth printing (2002): p. 11.

319 Marinus Victorinus (ACCOS NT 8:144). See also A Monk of the Baramous Monastery (H. G. Bishop Macarius), An Introduction to Metanoias in Spiritual Direction (Arabic), fourth printing (2002): p. 11.

When we perform metanoias as worship of God, we participate with the heavenly hosts in their fear of God and their rejoicing in their Creator. When we perform them for the sake of repentance, we rejoice in the work of the Savior, the Forgiver of sins, and in our encounter with Him as His sons and daughters who find our Savior’s bosom open to welcome those who have returned to Him; and thus, feelings of sorrow are mingled with feelings of spiritual joy. If we perform them because of our tribulations, we kiss the feet of the Savior who said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28). We should approach Him as His beloved little children, remembering His words: “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 19:14; Mark 14:10). We ought also to approach Him as those who are sick and in need of a heavenly physician, remembering the words of Isaiah the prophet: “Surely, He has borne our grief, and carried our sorrows” (Isa. 53:4).

Further, by performing metanoias we submit ourselves to God as soldiers who resort to their captain, who alone is able to destroy the devil and all his schemes and disperse the darkness of the power of evil. In performing metanoias, we are occupied with submitting to the will of God and enjoy a holy tranquility and a divine righteousness. Having performed metanoias, often the heart of a believer is enflamed with yearning for heaven, so that he finds himself lifting up his hands and looking up to the heavens.

St. Isaac the Syrian speaks of the connection between prostration and heavenly joy: “Continuous watching together with prostrations will certainly earn the worshiper the joy of prayer. Give yourself up to prayer and you will taste the sweetness of prostrations and will thus be joyfully steadfast in them.” He also invites us to offer metanoias before the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ: “There is nothing greater and more laborious in ascetical struggles, and nothing more excites envy in the demons, than if a man prostrates himself before the cross of Christ, praying night and day, and is like a convict whose hands are bound behind him.”³²⁰