What are the main rules that must govern a family?

First: Love is the primary rule. St. Basil the Great says, “With animals, invincible affection unites parents with children. It is the Creator, God Himself, who substitutes the strength of feeling for reason in them. From whence it comes that a lamb as it bounds from the fold, in the midst of a thousand sheep recognizes the color and the voice of its mother, runs to her, and seeks its own sources of milk. If its mother's udders are dry, it is content, and, without stopping, passes by more abundant ones. And how does the mother recognize it among the many lambs? All have the same voice, the same color, the same smell, as far at least as regards our sense of smell. Yet there is in these animals a more subtle sense than our perception which makes them recognize their own.”¹⁷⁵⁹

He again says, “‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.’ ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth’ (Ex. 20:12). Does not nature say the same? Paul teaches us nothing new; he only tightens the links of nature. If the lioness loves her cubs, if the she-wolf fights to defend her little ones, what shall man say who is unfaithful to the precept and violates nature herself; or the son who insults the old age of his father; or the father whose second marriage has made him forget his first children?”¹⁷⁶⁰

Second: Chastity and Purity . St. Jerome says, “If Christ loves the Church — holy, chaste, and spotless — let husbands also love their wives in chastity. And let everyone know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor, not in the lust of concupiscence, as the Gentiles who know not God (1 Thess. 4:7).”¹⁷⁶¹

St. Clement of Rome says, “Let us direct our wives to that which is good. Let them exhibit the lovely habit of purity [in all their conduct]; let them show forth the sincere disposition of meekness.”¹⁷⁶²

1758 St. Augustine of Hippo, City of God, Books XVII–XXII 19.14 (FOTC 24:222).

1759 St. Basil of Caesarea, Hexaemeron 9.4 (NPNF II/8:104).

1760 St. Basil of Caesarea, Hexaemeron 9.4 (NPNF II/8:104).

1761 St. Jerome, Against Jovinianus 1.16 (NPNF II/6:360).

1762 St. Clement of Rome, First Epistle of Clement to the Corinthians 21 (ANF 1:11).