What is the virtue of honoring parents?

I have kept the discussion of the virtue of honoring and obeying parents until the end because the Holy Bible ascribes to it a special importance. The apostle says, “‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise” (Eph. 6:2).

790 See the Memre on Repentance at the Monastery of St. Macarius.

The very law of nature engraves this commandment on the heart. Children feel a natural obligation to obey their parents due to the strong bond of being related in the flesh and blood; and children appreciate the burdens and sleepless nights that parents endure for the sake of their children. There is no one who cares more for the welfare, flourishing, and success of a person than his parents. God granted to the mother the gift of laboring joyfully and cheerfully for the sake of her children. God invokes a mother’s love for her children as a metaphor of His watchful care for us: “Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you” (Isa. 49:15). The Law of Moses pronounces this commandment and emphasizes it (Ex. 20:12; Deut. 5:16; 27:16). When humanity failed to fulfill the law of nature, the Lord prioritized it even over sanctifying His sabbaths: “Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and keep My Sabbaths: I am the Lord your God” (Lev. 19:3). And there are many strict injunctions against breaking this law:

“He who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death … and he who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death” (Ex. 21:15, 17; Lev. 20:9)

“‘Cursed is the one who treats his father or his mother with contempt.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’” (Deut. 27:16)

“Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness” (Prov. 20:20)

“The eye that mocks his father, and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it” (Prov. 30:17).

Finally, God did not leave humanity to labor under these bitter chastisements but sent His only-begotten Son Himself to represent humanity and manifest perfect obedience to His Father even unto death, the death of the cross (Phil. 2:8). He even submitted to St. Mary, His mother according to the flesh, and to Joseph the Righteous who adopted Him (Luke 2:51). Thereby He became a living example for us.

St. Cyril of Jerusalem says, “The first virtue of godliness in Christians is to honour their parents, to requite the troubles of those who begat them, and with all their might to confer on them what tends to their comfort … that they also may enjoy the comfort provided by us, and may confirm us in those blessings which Jacob the supplanter shrewdly seized; and that our Father in heaven may accept our good purpose, and judge us worthy to shine amid righteous as the sun in the kingdom of our Father (Matt. 13:43).”⁷⁹¹

And the scholar Origen says, “Let us learn, my beloved, to submit to our parents … Jesus submitted (to His parents) and became an example for all children in submission to their parents or their caretakers if they were orphans … If Jesus, the Son of God, submitted to

791 St. Cyril of Jerusalem, Catechetical Lectures 7.16 (NPNF II/7:47).

Mary and Joseph, should I not submit to the bishop whom God appointed for me as a father? Shall I not submit to the priest chosen by God’s will?”

St. Augustine says, “The world was subject unto Christ, and Christ was subject to His parents”⁷⁹²

In a letter of St. Jerome to a mother and her daughter between whom a dispute had arisen, he writes, “The Lord Jesus was subject to His parents. He reverenced that mother of whom He was Himself the parent; He respected the foster-father whom He had Himself fostered … well, I shall say no more to the mother, for perhaps age, weakness, and loneliness make sufficient excuses for her; but to you the daughter I say: “Is a mother’s house too small for you whose womb was not too small?”⁷⁹³ The Lord places honoring our parents at the forefront of those commandments that concern our relationships with others. He commands us to honor them before He commands “you shall not kill” or “you shall not commit adultery” etc. It is the only commandment associated with a reward or a promise (Eph. 6:2); and He gave children the right to reason with their parents, yet obey them in the Lord (Eph. 6:1) — not absolute obedience, as some of the Jews misconstrued it.

792 St. Augustine of Hippo, Sermons on Selected Lessons of the New Testament 1.19 (NPNF I/6:252).

793 St. Jerome, Letters 117.2 (NPNF II/6:216).